The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is…

Saw this video posted on Facebook of Florida sheriff Wayne Ivey warning people that the terrorists are here and to arm themselves. I have only one response: Bravo! It’s about time someone told the truth. The terrorist infestation in this country is getting out of control. They’re worse than cockroaches. They’re behind every bush, around every corner. You’re not safe. Your kids aren’t safe. Your pets aren’t safe. Heck, even your plants may not be safe. You never know; a terrorist may want to rape and kill your rhododendron.

The only refuge honest, white Christian Americans have is in packing heat. The more guns you own, the safer you are. In fact, I think all licensing for guns should be suspended to make it easier for good, law abiding citizens to purchase an arsenal for home protection.

Everything you need for home defense. Or World War III.

Concerned Citizens

Scene opens in the basement of a small church in a small town in Alabama. A group of concerned townsfolk have gathered to discuss the looming threat.

Bill: “It just ain’t right, I tell ya. They’re practically on our doorstep. We’re all in danger.”

Mary Beth: Looking around the room at the others. “You don’t think it could really happen, do you?”

Buford: “If it does, I got my shotgun that’ll send ’em all back to Allah!”

Murmurs of approval from the group.

Harry: “They’re all terrorists, every last one of them, we all know that. Why is there even talk of letting them in?”

Carl: “It’s that damn Obama and his Liberal agenda, that’s what it is!”

More murmurs of approval.

Mary Beth: “I heard that not only are they all terrorists but that many of them are… GAY!”

Gasps of  horror.

Bill: “Oh good Lord Jesus… gay terrorists. It really must be the end of days.”

Carl: “Whaddya think they’d do? Do ya think they’d make you… you know… DO things before they killed ya?”

Mary Beth: In a shrill voice. “Of course they would, Carl. That’s what them gays do. They’re all rapists!”

Buford: “Sweet Jesus on a pogo stick. This is worse than I thought. Better start stocking up on my shotgun shells.”