A New Environmental Crisis: High Levels of Smug

 

We are approaching critical levels

We are approaching critical levels

“You really shouldn’t eat beef, ya know… like, it’s full of hormones and stuff and like… it’s totally bad fer you.”

“OMG, I ONLY eat free range chicken. I think chickens should be happy before they’re slaughtered for food. You can taste the happiness in every bite.”

“I could NEVER eat anything that has eyes. Meat is murder, ya know? I’m strictly a vegetarian.”

“Vegetarians are SO unenlightened. My diet is pure vegan. You should change to a vegan diet. I feel SO much better.”

“I’ve eliminated all the gluten from my diet. I read it causes cancer… or something. Jeez, why don’t they have more gluten-free foods at this grocery store. Ugh, this is why I only shop at Whole Foods.”

“You don’t buy all organic? That non-organic stuff will kill you, ya know. The pesticides build up in your body and cause like… brain bleeding or something. Even my Pop Tarts are organic because the label says so.”

“You bought a puppy? I would like… NEVER do that. Puppies are adopted so easily. I got my dog Rex from a shelter. He was a 14-year-old rescue dog. He was blind and only had three legs. That’s like, the socially responsible thing to do, ya know.”

“You’re still driving a regular compact car? You know how much carbon emissions come from that? I totally drive a hybrid and we’re thinking of getting an electric next year. Don’t you care about the environment?”

“Caitlyn Jenner is SO beautiful, don’t you think? It was so brave of her to come out like that. I wish I could just see her picture everywhere I go to inspire me. Anyone that doesn’t just love her is a transphobic jerk.”

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