#Jeffwecan

I’m a few weeks late with this “trend” but I don’t care. I love it. For those that don’t know, “Jeff” is the new suggested mascot for the Marlboro brand of cigarettes that comedian John Oliver unveiled on his show Last Week Tonight back in February. (See the video clip below for the full show. It’s worth watching.)

I wanted to do my part to help out Philip Morris USA, the maker of the Marlboro brand and Altria, the parent company of Philip Morris with the branding of their new mascot (assuming they adopt Jeff of course, but why wouldn’t they?) Jeff is a smoking diseased lung… in cowboy gear. How cool is that? As cool as smoking, that’s how cool.

Since smoking has declined drastically since the 1960’s in the US, Philip Morris has found markets in other parts of the world to peddle their ~~filthy cancer sticks~~ brand of flavorful cigarettes. To be honest, one has to admire the courage and tenacity of the tobacco industry. Despite the ~~overwhelming medical evidence~~ smear campaign from the medical community that ~~proves beyond a doubt~~ suggests smoking is unhealthy and leads to diseases like lung cancer and emphysema, they have battled on in pursuit of their ~~sickening~~ lofty goal of ~~killing off the human race~~ spreading the joy of smoking to all. And it seems their hard work has paid off. Smoking is on the rise in developing nations.

So what better way to keep sales fresh than to associate smoking with something that truly reflects what smokers will enjoy in the years to come. Jeff is the mascot for the new age of smoking. Thank you Mr. Oliver. I’ll do my best to pass on the image of this sickly fellow to everyone I can.